What are some funny and smart quotes?

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

What's a memory from your childhood that shaped who you are today?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

How severely should I get punished? Please describe throughly. Today I got my result of my test nd I found out that I failed in 2 subjects, my parents are currently in abroad nd I lied to them about the fail but I feel guilty now.

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

One year from World Cup opener, FIFA leaves questions unanswered on tickets and security - AP News

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”